The Guidelines
SANTACON OCEAN CITY GUIDELINES (with help from SantaCon.info):
1. Santa does not make children cry. Really, if you see kids, don’t do anything to freak them out. Give them a nice smile and possibly a gift of some kind (toys, candy canes, etc). Parents and tourists are a different matter altogether – adjust your behavior based on their attitude.
2. Santa dresses for all occasions. It’s December by the ocean. Smart santas wear multiple costume layers. Dress to maximize merriment whether singing Christmas carols on the boardwalk, or sweating your *ss off in the bars.
3. Santa doesn’t whine! We will be outside a lot and commuting mainly on foot – bring enough fruitcake to keep your pie-hole filled until we get indoors.
4. Bring gifts: NAUGHTY gifts to give grown ups; NICE stuff to give kids. Throwing coal at people is discouraged no matter who they are. YES THAT INCLUDES POLITICIANS. But giving out coal might actually be appreciated. Actually, f**k coal. What a filthy industry.
5. Watching santa get drunk and rowdy is fun. Cleaning vomit from Santa’s beard is not. Don’t be that santa.
6. Make sure you always pay for your beer and tip the bar staff. We want to be able to do this again so be polite and cultivate the goodwill of the world’s greatest bartenders.
7. Please pay for your drinks as soon as you get them. Santas get tired of waiting on other santas to clear their tab before being able to move on. This entire adventure should be cash only – do you want to be the bartender trying to settle up with 100 santas?
8. “No santa’s left behind!” Don’t think only of yourself – Santa is not inconsiderate of his fellow santas like that. Pick a few people you know and keep an eye out for them when it’s time to move to the next location. If you don’t see them, speak up so other santas know to wait a moment. Every santa should have at least 2-3 other santas they look out for and 2-3 that look out for them in turn.
9. Stay with the group. It’s not just a case of “the more, the merrier” – Santa is safer with large numbers of fellow santas and what one santa can’t achieve (or get away with) is a possibility for 50 or more!
10. Dress up! You don’t have to dress exactly like Santa. In fact, unusual interpretations of Santa-ness are much appreciated, both by those we bring joy to – as well as your fellow santas: elves, reindeer themes, naughty Mrs. Claus, etc. are fine as well!
11. Please remember that this is all about having fun. Most santas like to take their fun with a little alcohol which is fine. What is not fine, however, is getting completely sh#t-faced to the point that santas end up being abusive or violent. Remember that there is no “bail fund” for incarcerated santas and if you cross the line you’ll be on your own. Be nice or go back to the North Pole.
12. Santa doesn’t drink & drive and neither should you. If you’re going to drink you must make sure that you can get safely home without driving yourself. Ride the bus, carpool with a designated sober reindeer, make arrangements to sleep over at someone’s place etc.
13. You MUST address everyone as “Santa.”
14. You SHOULD “ho-ho-ho” like Santa.
15. You OUGHT to give out gifts like Santa.
16. You MIGHT want to drink like Santa.
17. Santa doesn’t get arrested – please remember Santa’s “four f**ks”:
Don’t f**k with kids
Don’t f**k with cops
Don’t f**k with security
Don’t f**k with Santa
18. If you have reached this rule, it means you didn’t get locked into a loop reading the guidelines over and over again as per the previous rule. You are therefore intelligent enough to take part in SantaCon!
19. Have a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS, Ocean City!
